The Ten Commandments E-book study by Trent Brandt, writer of the Christian Letter found at www.christianezine.org |
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The Ten Commandments E-book study by Trent Brandt, writer of the Christian Letter found at www.christianezine.org |
Marriage When marriage comes up, people either swoon or get a cold shoulder. Why? Because we either think that it's a perfect thing or a downward spiral. Let's look at the latter first, shall we? It is not difficult to understand why some would fear marriage when you look at the high divorce rate as well as all the horrible marriages around us. These people believe that since some marriages are awful, then all must be that way. The other side thinks it's a bed of roses and looks upon it as a vessel of love, constant companionship, and many other things of that nature. The myth that ends with 'happily ever after' to them is no fairy tale; it's a major truth. One lives in a world of doubt and the other in a world of fantasy. The truth is, though, you never know the future, and so any act of commitment in the present must be an act of faith. It is unrealistic for two worldly people to think that the uniting of their imperfections will produce perfection. Gray mixed with gray never makes white. However, "Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him that is alone when he falleth, for he hath not another to help him up. Again, if two lie down together, then they have heat, but how can one be warm alone?" (Ecclesiastes 4:9-11) So don't fear marriage, but don't think that it doesn't take work (love) from both of you and a commitment to Yahweh (the Lord). The number one thing to look for in a spouse is commitment to God. Humor can fade and money can say good-bye. Find a God-fearing person to be your spouse. How should married couples live their lives? The answer is in Scripture; however, when reading the following verses, please do not read only what you want to read as so many have. "Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church--for we are members of his body. "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." This is a profound mystery--but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." (Ephesians 5:22-33) There are many other Scriptures (all Scripture, actually) to read, such as Matthew 18:19 and 19:5-6, and Joshua 1:7-8 on this subject. Many things point to why marriage is grand, such as getting to read the Word daily together, praying, making love, caring for each other when sick, having children, companionship, health, happiness, and emotional support. Yes, this, and so much more, is what makes marriage a wonderful thing. Just be sure to never forget that love needs to be taken care of as a plant needs water. Without constant love and support from each other, and fellowship with the King of kings, love in the marriage will die. When a woman lacks wisdom, she will drag the man down, but when she is full of wisdom, her mind is collected and obedient to her husband. When a man lacks compassion, he will drag his wife to despair, but when he is uplifting, she will pull him higher as well. We often learn these things as children, but they can also be gained through the Holy Spirit's guidance. There are so many things that can help build a marriage, such as looking to the Word, communication, prayer, and time by yourselves. I encourage you to do them all, daily. The institution of marriage was established at creation in Genesis. Adam was not complete before the creation of Eve. Many people who never marry find themselves isolated, forsaken, and despondent in their old age. Marriage has some long-range benefits like loving children who are concerned about their parents in their old age. People who live a promiscuous life and never marry have failed to recognize the future benefits of marriage. Their shortsighted view makes them live for temporary gratification only. Marriage can be beautiful or a bitter pill. It's best when preceded by prayer for the right spouse, but it will all eventually depend on what you both try to make it and what you allow God to do in it. "Knit your hearts with an un-slipping knot." William Shakespeare © trent@kci.net |
