The Ten Commandments, Part 5
The fifth commandment is the first commandment with a promise, and links the first four commandments with the remaining five. Commandments one through four teach us how to love and respect God. Commandments six through ten show us how to love and respect our fellow man. Proper respect toward our fellowman begins in the home. The fifth commandment tells us to honor and respect our parents. “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.” (Exodus 20:12 NIV) This blessing of a long life is quite a contrast to those who live a short life, full of misery and unhappiness, because they refused to listen to the advice of their parents.
It is important for our health, both physical and spiritual, that we honor our parents, but how does this all begin? We must teach ourselves with the Word, pray to the Holy Spirit, and be willing to do as He instructs even before He instructs. Also, we must do as Yehovah (God) commanded and bring up our children properly.
We have many things we must do in order to raise God fearing/loving children. First we must present them the Word and all it instructs daily. Pray with them on a regular basis for at least thirty minutes daily. Show them the joys of working in, and outside, the church for the glory of the Lord. Train them to fight off evil, both physical and spiritual. Train them in the proper ways to behave; a boy to love and respect women and women to behave decently and politely. Teach them of the pitfalls in life, such as drugs, whoredom, thievery, lying, cheating, gluttony, dishonesty, and false gods so that when they come across these things they will not fall into the traps of sin. Memorize Scripture with them that will aid you both in your life, such as Scripture pertaining to loss of a loved one, sickness, and temptations so we can call on God’s Word just like Yehoshuah (Jesus) did in Matthew 4:1-11.
We all learn by example; if we keep His blessings/commands then the child will learn to do so as well. It is up to the parents serving the King as to whether or not children will know the benefits of keeping His commands or the pain of not observing His blessings. Just remember, no one has ever taught a child by saying one thing and then doing something different. If you tell your child, “You must honor your father and mother” and show no honor for your own, and demonstrate a life unworthy of honor, then you have abused your child beyond measure.
Honoring your father and mother does not mean to go against the will of God to do so. If your father wants you to drink beer, say a racist joke, or look at a pornographic magazine, then this does not apply. First and foremost, this would not please our Father in heaven, and secondly, it would not honor our earthly dad, even if he thinks it would. There is a fine line but we must pray and diligently seek it. Matthew 15:4-6 reads, “For God said, ‘Honor your father and mother’ and ‘Anyone who curses his father or mother must be put to death.’ But you say that if a man says to his father or mother, ‘Whatever help you might otherwise have received from me is a gift devoted to God,’ he is not to ‘honor his father’ with it. Thus you nullify the word of God for the sake of your tradition.” Daughters, if your mother advises you to dress provocatively, act dumb, or to close your eyes to evil, then the same applies as above. Don’t dishonor your parents by going against God. Use this chance to minister to them. If you don’t know how at this time, then search the Word and come back to them peacefully at a later point, giving them Scripture to show them the blessings the Word of God gives. An example would be, “Daughter, why don’t you dress a little nicer for Jeff? You could dress a little more attractively you know. Men like it when a girl shows them they are special by spending some time on themselves before a date.” “Mother, I want Jeff to look at me, not stare at me. I care for him and I want him to care for me; besides, the Bible says that, “I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God.” (1 Timothy 2:9-10 NIV)
But what do we do to correct our children? According to ‘professionals’ we should not ‘stifle’ children with the word ‘no,’ let alone with physical correction, but that is not what the Maker of life has told us. “The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.” (Proverbs 29:15 NIV) The old saying, ‘This is going to hurt me more that it’s going to hurt you’ is so very true. If you have any doubt of this, then take a long look at Christ and what our sin did to Him. “Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish him with the rod, he will not die. Punish him with the rod and save his soul from death.” (Proverbs 23:13-14 NIV) Do you want to literally save your child’s soul from hell? Yes? Then punish him for the wrong and encourage him in the right. “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.” (Proverbs 22:6 NIV) If a child gets away with stealing a small item like a key chain, then he will try the car down the road. While this might be a lame example, it is true. If he gets away with ‘darn’ and ‘shoot,’ then don’t be surprised when it turns to ‘damn’ and ‘shit’. Lies turn to cheating and cheating turns to failing, while honesty turns to trust and trust turns to honor. Discord in your home will turn to hate and hate will teach the children that an abusive spouse or no spouse at all is ok, while love in a family will result in their own families being built around love. Diamonds grow great in value when they are cut so very carefully. When you correct your child, be very diligent in listening to what the Holy Spirit says what would be a good punishment to benefit your child. For example, we may feel like kicking them out when they tell us they want more freedom, but showing them that the freedom they desire would hurt them may be best. Then again, perhaps the freedoms they want are simply normal for children who are growing (they do that you know). If your child hurts another child or your pet, then a spanking on the bottom is indeed a blessing to the child. Though he may not like correction as a child, he will be benefited by it tremendously. Just like you and me when we listen to the Lord and allow His corrections to better us…we may not like it at the time, but after a while we become so grateful we cannot help but thank Him in praise.
Is home schooling all it’s cracked up to be? I was home schooled and am not disappointed. However, the most important thing to remember is that if your children are home schooled, then they need good parents/teachers at home. The education is better, free time to go on trips and to events is available, there is less peer pressure, and did I mention the education? The drawback, though, is the lack of social functions, so make sure this is never a problem by enrolling them in activities such as martial arts, swimming, and youth groups like my parents did. It is my opinion and observation that the best way to teach a child is to teach him at a good Christian home (yours) and then around the beginning of high school send him to a public school (as long as it is safe and the child wants to go). In this way he has a better education from home and can be a light to the other classmates. Many kids are now in trouble because the parents let them make their own decisions without preparing them to make good decisions with the Word of God. We must show them that His blessings are not to be compromised if we want a good life.
Good adults do not become good adults by accident. They are the result of diligent training on the part of their parents and other teachers. Parents who are aged need the love and respect of their children. Parents who are successful will never regret the effort it took to implant this command/blessing from God in their children.
“If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters--yes, even his own life--he cannot be My disciple.” (Luke 14:26 NIV) We are, indeed, to love our parents, spouse, and family, but in comparison to Christ there should be no comparison. I love my mother, but not in comparison to the love I have for the Lord. We must have a love far greater for Him, and if we do, then we will obey His commands/blessings.
We begin raising our children the moment we bring them home from the hospital or adoption agency. Children of hypocritical parents tend to view God in the same way. They will ignore the many Biblical admonitions that warn of the pitfalls in life. The result will be a life of anguish and suffering. Do not abuse the child whom Yehoshuah (Jesus) loves by not following His guidelines for upbringing.
This commandment shows us that we serve a King who loves His followers so much that His desire is for us to live long and happily. To read more on this subject, here are but a few verses to read and enjoy: Leviticus 19:3, 21:18-21, and 27:16, 21:18-21, Deuteronomy 6:6-7, Psalms 127:3-5, Proverbs 3:1-2, 5-6, 19:18, 19:26, 20:11, 23:22, 23:24-25, and 30:17, Isaiah 54:13, Luke 2:51-52, John 15:10, Romans 7:12 and 15:4, Ephesians 5:31-32, 2 Timothy 3:15, Ephesians 6:1 and 4, Colossians 3:20, Hebrews 12:5-11, and 1 John 3:23.
For kids who need someone to talk to about the pitfalls in life please call and visit www.1800hithome.com